@topaz_kell: To the person who honked to get me out of my parking space faster, thank you for inspiring me to delete 3000 emails right here, right now.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@jergarl: When I was a kid I used to ask my my papa... "Whatcha doin?" Papa would say, "I'M MINDING MY OWN DAMN BUSINESS." Best advice ever.
@noduffers: I just called one ex a calculator and another a potential murder victim so if you're looking for metaphors, I'm probably the grapefruit.
@TheWoodenslurpy: Oh, I see. "Adam and Steve" is gay, but “Adam dates his own rib” is perfectly acceptable.