@topaz_kell: To the person who honked to get me out of my parking space faster, thank you for inspiring me to delete 3000 emails right here, right now.
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@TheRolo: When I'm in a bathroom stall, please don't yell "Oh my God oh my God there's a guy in here!" Respect my privacy.
@travisauruss: Blood is thicker than water. But maple syrup is thicker than blood. So pancakes are more important than family. I said it.