@murrman5: [to the secretary before I go in for job interview] "when the music starts, hit this button and that will activate the fog machine"
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@dlicj: flight attendant: as u can see the captain has turned on the no murdering sign [guy next to me is still murdering someone] me: um excuse me
@robfee: I call bs on the Ninja Turtles having those ripped abs. No way you could do crunches with a shell attached to your back. Trust me Ive tried.
@LogicLaughs: I'm Not A People Person, Or A Morning Person, Or An Evening Person, Or A Going-Out Person, Or A Staying-In.. I'm Not Even Sure I'm A Person.