@murrman5: [to the secretary before I go in for job interview] "when the music starts, hit this button and that will activate the fog machine"
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@ObscureGent: The most disappointing sentence in the human language is "This next song is off of our new album".
@peterjames48: How many raisins do I have to add to this bag of M&Ms before it qualifies as trail mix? One? I say one.
@runawaycupcake: The problem with the exclamation point & question mark being side by side on a keyboard: I'm so sorry your grandma died? I love you?