@jjhartinger: To the teenager that flipped me off for honking at you. Your phone is on top of your car.
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@UncleDuke1969: "Here's Ted with the weather." "..." "I said... Here's Ted with the weather." "..." "Ted?" "THAT's what an unanswered text feels like, Sue."
@trevorthehuman: Turns out "pick the biggest one & punch him in the face" gets you more respect as a new prisoner than as a new 1st grade substitute teacher.
@U_Want_Shum_M8: i'll never forget what my Grandad said to me just before he kicked the bucket "Grandson... how far do you think I can kick this bucket?"