@jjhartinger: To the teenager that flipped me off for honking at you. Your phone is on top of your car.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@NoogsCorner: Cigarette: Hey buddy. Me: I don't smoke anymore. Cigarette: But buddy. Me: NO. Cigarette: Buddy? Me: You do make a good point. Fine.
@TheFemKilljoy: The only time I hate being single is when I knock something over & catch it before it hits the ground but there's no one around to see it.
@CornOnTheGoblin: [presses every button in elevator] here's how Michael Bay ruined the ninja turtles
@mattgallo123: It's funny, when I walk into a spider web I demolish his home and misplace his dinner yet I still feel like the victim.