@animaldrumss: To those out there who have accused me of selling out, of abandoning my beliefs and values to climb the social ladder: uh... yeah. yes.
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@LostCatDog: Ladies call me "the turkey sandwich" because I seem bland and boring at first, but then I continue to be boring.
@Mikecanrant: Think about a nice pair of slacks. Now think about a panda. Now about radishes. Now about salt. I think you see where Im going with this.
@bridger_w: When a cop asks if you know why you were pulled over, respond, "I'm actually not allowed to discuss the details of the case"
@cloudypianos: Obama: Please don't talk to me until I've had my morning cup of Joe. Joe: no please no more. Obama: shut up Joe. *takes a sip of Joe*