@GlazerBooHooHoo: To trick people into thinking I understand things at a museum I stand in front of every painting and silently count to twenty.
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@Lowenaffchen: Glue a tiny mirror over your driver's license photo so when you hand it to the cops they get confused and start arresting themselves instead
@TheCatWhisprer: Dr: I'm giving u a proton-pump inhibitor Me: LIKE A GHOSTBUSTER? D: No for acid reflu *sees tears welling in my eyes* yes for busting ghosts
@rodtopia: I once dated a woman who thought windmills were solar powered. I'm so glad I don't drink anymore.