@samalmightysam: I don't like to brag about going to expensive places, but I just went to the gas station.

@FriedGoat: "Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?" Well, Katy, I'm thin, weak, white, and I hurt the environment so I guess that's a pretty apt simile

@Ideal_Victoria: You are what you eat? *eats Natalie Portman*

@ninatreemonkey: The gardener at my work put beer in the garden to catch slugs SO GUESS WHO JUST BECAME A SLUG

@ashlar36: Fact: Canadians are legally allowed to be late for work once a week for 'reindeer related delays.'