@daemonic3: To whoever has my voodoo doll, can you stop making me stare at my phone all day? This isn't funny. I just want to live life again.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@iwearaonesie: *power goes out* wife: Great, I just bought ice cream me [already eating it] I'm on it
@SveldtSmelt: Talking to women is a lot like origami. I don't know where to start and I always end up screaming.
@BoogTweets: Her: You're all sweaty. Where have you been? *Flash back to an hour long struggle of me trying to separate 2 shopping carts* Me: The gym.