@daemonic3: To whoever has my voodoo doll, can you stop making me stare at my phone all day? This isn't funny. I just want to live life again.
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@robdelaney: My marriage is a mess and I'm in real financial trouble. But the McRib will return one day, and that's what keeps me going.
@ZachWeiner: Our baby doubled age in a single day. If my calculations are correct, a month from now she'll be about 3 million years old.
@pinupteacher: Hey baby, lemme see what's under that shell. Ugh, as if. *Lady turtle starts walking away.* [3 hours later] I still see you there baby.
@Cain_Unable: I used to think Pet Insurance was a waste of money but my cat is at the vets & they've sent us a really lovely little courtesy cat.