@LuvPug: Today has been approved by both my middle fingers.
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@turtledumplin: If I ever got stranded on an island, I could totally use the glare that bounces off the whiteness of my legs to signal for help.
@Crunk_Jews: You can tell a lot about a person by what they're willing to do during conjugal visits.
@AimeeHelene1: Me: Heeeeyyyyyy Judy, good morning! *scratches Judy's back, wiping off my Cheeto fingers* Judy: Hi!!! How are y..... Me: *walks away*