@wesleysnipes: Today I am choosing to stay positive and kind to anyone I encounter today, except vampires.
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@sixfootcandy: [blind date] Me: So you can't see me? Him: Nope. Not at all. Me: (stops sucking in gut) This is the best date ever!
@GrantTanaka: "I dunno, maybe you go steal an old lady's purse, you can hold up a liquor store, & you...just sit there looking mean." -Unorganized Crime
@sammyrhodes: Donuts are made from flour. Flour is made from wheat. Wheat is a plant. Plants are vegetables. Donuts are a vegetable.