@wesleysnipes: Today I am choosing to stay positive and kind to anyone I encounter today, except vampires.
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@RocketRankoon: I order so much Chinese food the delivery guy must think I'm a middle aged divorced homicide detective in an 80s movie.
@fro_vo: asked my dentist out but she brushed me off, said she only dates plaque guys Not gonna paste any more time on that cavitease, it’s her floss
@callie_cakes: Pro Tip: Don't EVER tell a 10yr old boy that you don't "get" X-Men. Because. They. Will. Explain. It.
@haleysfalling: hi yes i'd like a vodka salad please "you mean a bloody mary" yeah yeah whatever just hurry it up