@beliz69: Today, I asked my husband if he would still love me if I was ugly and fat. He answered, "Yes, honey I do."
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@LoveNLunchmeat: Every time my daughter drinks juice she says "cheers" so.... no, not looking forward to parent teacher conferences.
@Playing_Dad: [Noah's Ark] Noah: How will the animals reproduce? God: You took a male & female, right? Noah: YOU SAID BRING 2 YOU DIDN'T SAY 1 OF EACH SEX
@QwertyJones3: Me: You bought 6 bottles of carpet cleaning solution? Wife: Yes. Me: We have hard wood floors. Wife: I had a coupon that was expiring today!