@beliz69: Today, I asked my husband if he would still love me if I was ugly and fat. He answered, "Yes, honey I do."
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@IamEnidColeslaw: the women in tampon commercials should switch places with the women in antidepressant commercials
@Nickadoo: I wish my job was more like a video game. In order to be promoted to the next level, all I'd need to do is kill the boss.
@robfee: Dear Ninja Turtles, Why are you wearing masks? There are no other giant, mutated turtles. No one's gonna mistake a different turtle for you.