@Cavspc: Today I have been sober for 100 days.
Not, like, in a row or anything. Just in total.
@unravelingfire: Me: Do you like children?
Him: Yes, I love them.
Me: Good, because I become a huge child when I drink.
@SadPeruna: Even if you don't pay, they'll usually let you go through a car wash at least once a day without a car.
@seamussaid: only baby boomers will get this:
@noog: "911 what's ur emergency"
This guy's not breathing
"Did u send him ur vibes?"
Yes I been sending em
"I'm sending some too"
Okay he good now
@AdriannaLaCervx: This whole "parenting a teenager" thing isn't really working out. I'm going to tell him I just want to be friends.