@Cavspc: Today I have been sober for 100 days.
Not, like, in a row or anything. Just in total.
@AngelaEhh: Why are people giving something up for lint? I'm sweeping that shit up every day if you want some more.
@AmericanGent69: Online dating rule: If we meet up offline, and you look nothing like your pictures, then you're buying me drinks until you do.
@Kappa_Kappa: When someone invites me to their house and I see more than 2 cars parked outside it I keep driving just in case it's an intervention for me
@novicefather: I found three french fries inside my $1 McDouble.
Dream big, kids. Anything is possible.
@CoreyKeyz: Don't bring up something I said 30 minutes ago. I'm a different person, I've changed since then.