@MavenofHonor: So many friends have kids now it's tough to meet for coffee, let alone carry out the greatest casino heist the world has ever known

@TwinSurvivalist: If you made her sweat, sweat till she can't sweat no more, perhaps you should have taken a water break. Dehydration is dangerous.

@_Tempo11: I buy reverse osmosis filtered alkaline water for my dog and he prefers to drink out of the lake.

@brunopieroni: That show "Catfish" should just be called "People Who Have Never Heard of Google."

@krustythe_klown: How to lose an argument with an idiot - 1 Argue.