@bush_piglet: Today I have learnt - if you try and give someone the finger whilst wearing mittens, you are basically just showing them your mittens.
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@djdarrellripley: Me: You never told me you were on the debate team in college.. Her: Yes I did. Me: No you didn't. Her: Yes I did. Me: Oh you're good!
@pinupteacher: My boss is basically Ursula from The Little Mermaid. Deceitful, selfish, conniving, wears too much make up, is an octopus.
@noogscorner: I wonder if clouds look down on us and say shit like "That one's shaped like an idiot."