@bush_piglet: Today I have learnt - if you try and give someone the finger whilst wearing mittens, you are basically just showing them your mittens.
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@IamEveryDayPpl: Tom Cruise still does his own stunts at 55 and I just pulled a muscle reaching for the toilet paper...
@Hadzilla: Halloween '94: Mom says store sold out of Batman costumes and buys me a Catwoman one. Called me Catman. The worst part: she went as Batman?
@TheRealCDK1: Eat Salad they said....its healthy they said......you know what never gets recalled? Cake....I'm sticking with cake.
@LoveNLunchmeat: Am I joking? Yes. Absolutely. Do I also mean it? Yes. Absolutely.
@charliedelta7: Hot girls on Twitter: Single and straight: 3% Lesbians: 12% Taken and straight: 15% Men: 70%
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