@CakeThrottle: Today I learned that wolves are not ticklish. Tomorrow I need to learn how to tie my shoes with one hand.
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@thenoahkinsey: *on a 1st date* Her:..and I have 3 cats Me: Swipe left H: Did you say "swipe left"?! M: H: M: *panicked whisper* swipeleftswipeleftswipeleft
@ibid78: [goes back in time to murder baby Hitler] wow long line of people here to kill him [goes back to murder myself] how is this line even longer
@sixthformpoet: If cartoons are a reliable guide, the secret to never ageing is wearing the same clothes every day.