@NyAdas: Today I learned the hard way if you over-pluck your eyebrows everyone thinks you're interested in what they are saying
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@ShesAllNat: Mattel is launching a new Twitter Barbie. She looks like a stunning hot blonde on the package but is an old fat guy when you open the box
@Parentpains: She said she was burning with desire, so I threw a bucket of water at her. Dating is bullshit.
@Mr_Kapowski: "The princess dies. And then the people trying to save her die. Dragon guarding the castle? Dead" - Bedtime at George R.R. Martin's house
@JediGigi: Me: [being murdered] Murderer: Ok you have got to stop smiling. It’s really starting to creep me out.