@BillPelicanBros: Today I nearly met my end!...it was in a yoga class.
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@Danny_Dilford: I was wondering why I wasn't picking up any chicks recently, but then I realized my Monster energy sticker fell off my car
@EllenPallas: Life tip - buy a birthday card with your morning bottle of wine and people will think it's a gift. You are welcome.
@rzarosco: If I ever murder anyone I'm going to hide the body on my second or third page of favstar where no one will ever find it