@BillPelicanBros: Today I nearly met my end!...it was in a yoga class.
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@dulcetry: One time I got so nervous when a guy took off his pants in front of me I said "friggity diggity" please do not rt
@Tmoney68: A man played Justin Bieber to force an attacking bear to run off. He was treated for his injuries, then arrested for cruelty to animals.
@iLikeCatShirts: Me [trying to sound intellectual]: okay, okay which came first turkey the bird or Turkey the *points at map*