@BillPelicanBros: Today I nearly met my end!...it was in a yoga class.
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@jasonlight73: After my date orders, I always tell the waiter "Nothing for me..I'll be eating later" Then wink at my date & raise my eyebrows suggestively!
@Try2StopME: Student: "May I go to the toilet?" Teacher: "What for?" Student: "To open the Chamber of Secrets"
@daemonic3: My friend said his dog retrieved a ball he threw over a mile away. I don't know, that seems pretty far fetched.
@lucidchemistry: Go to an open house and ask the realtor if they'll stand in the basement with the door closed so you can hear if screams are audible outside