@leshnevsky: Today I played dead with my 5yo nephew. He cried for 5 seconds, then grabbed my iPhone and run away.
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@CallousBalzac: Boss: How is the project coming along? Me:*closing browser of sick kick flip videos* Totally rad...icalizing our sales data analysis, Sir.
@jonnysun: "the names bond, james bond" [5 min later] STARBUCKS BARISTA: i gota frappe for borbjorbple