@HairyJew4Life: Today I saw a sign for a suicide helpline on the back of a bus. Wouldn't it be a lot more helpful if it was on the front?
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@J_Illunninati: The guy who made my sandwiches told me Have Fun as he handed them to me. Not sure what he thinks I was gonna do wit them
@CulturedRuffian: No thanks Facebook Live, if I wanted to see people doing stupid things in real time I'd just go visit my family.
@hyperblastchic: Me: Gouda would pair nicely with this merlot! Priest: This is communion... M: Oh. Gouda would taste well with the blood of Chr- P: Leave.