@Tmoney68: Today, I saw a sign outside a dental office that said "We do our business in your mouth" and I haven't stopped laughing.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@SatansTongue: Where is your 1,000 word essay? "Right here" *pulls out selfie* That's a picture... "A picture is worth 1,000 words" *becomes valedictorian*
@ScobeyWanKenobi: Just once I'd like to yell, "Don't you know who I am?!" because I'm important, not because I'm drunk and actually forgot.
@Sickayduh: ME: Why are you leaving? WIFE: I have hated every stupid pun of yours since we left Manhasset 20 years ago ME: Manhasset been that long?