@Gupton68: Today, I shall mostly be drawing little moustaches and monocles on all the spermatozoa in the biology textbooks at the library.
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@pinupteacher: [Chaperoning field trip] ME BEFORE WE GO: Only rule is don't lose any kids. AFTER I LOSE A KID: New rule. You're allowed to lose one kid.
@NYC_Blonde: A pregnant girl from my high school made her unborn child a Facebook and added me as a friend. I AM FRIENDS WITH AN EMBRYO YOU GUYS.
@TheMichaelRock: It’s funny how people rage in traffic on the way to work like they’ll be any happier once they get there.