@karencheee: Today I watched a meteor shower until it angrily pulled the curtains closed and yelled at me to stop peeping.
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@jamisondg1: I wonder if in 100 years, ghosts of today will spell out "swag" or "bae" on the Ouija boards
@Home_Halfway: Just gonna wait to see how long it takes this police sketch artist to realize I'm describing him.
@gogglepossum: Me: My body is a temple Personal Trainer: But what about all the food and wine and parties? Me: It’s a temple to Dionysus
@AngelaEhh: I almost ate that little packet in the shoe box. Good thing it said 'do not eat'. That was close.