@SortaBad: Today I'm approaching teens dressed like I'm from the future, locking eyes, and saying "Happy Presidents Day, sir" with a wink
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@loudmouth_usa: I read that if you have 2 hangovers a year you are an alcoholic so I'm around 104 alcoholics
@carlyken: I'm not afraid of dying. I'm afraid of ending up in a nursing home with a roommate who has Justin Bieber posters and Twilight shirts.
@shwebby2: British police don't carry guns. So what exactly do they do then? Yell "STOP... OR I'LL SAY STOP AGAIN!"