@SortaBad: Today I'm approaching teens dressed like I'm from the future, locking eyes, and saying "Happy Presidents Day, sir" with a wink
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@markydoodoo: if you encounter a bear in the woods, make your self as big as possible. Talk about how much money you make and how hot your girlfriend is.
@brideylee: On the list of things I fear the most, "death" comes in as a close second to "audience participation"
@XplodingUnicorn: My 4-year-old thinks the 5-second rule means she can eat anything off the floor if she waits 5-seconds first. That M&M was from last Easter.
@LostCatDog: It's a comfort knowing Dad is looking down on me, but we should probably cut his hang-glider out of that tree one of these days.