@Disalmanac: Today in 1892, JRR Tolkien was born. He wrote about all the horrible things that will happen if you put a ring on it.
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@iamch0pper: if you ever get caught sleeping on the job... slowly raise your head and say, "in jesus name amen"
@Travon: Flight attendant: "will you perform exit row duties in the event of an emergency?" Me: "yes" In my head: "No we're all gonna die"