@MomoVonTrite: Today is my mom's birthday or as she calls it, Cinco de Seis, because someone taught her just enough Spanish to be annoying.
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@StansaidAirport: Do you like freezing to death and knocking down trees with your face? Well why not book a skiing holiday?
@moose_chocolate: If familiarity breeds contempt and absence makes the heart grow fonder, then by definition marriage is a terrible idea.
@AlyssaDiSalle: Co-worker: "If you love something, set it free, if it comes back it's yours to k.." Me - "THOSE ARE BOOMERANGS, MICHELLE."