@TheTweetOfGod: Today is National Girlfriend's Day. But it will never be National Marriage Day. The calendar's just not ready for that kind of commitment.
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@ComedicBust: I joined snapchat yesterday; apparently my phone doesn't die fast enough for my liking.
@MartaEffing: [first date] Me: *sees he owns a cat* Him: Are you a cat or a dog person? Me: *maintains eye contact* *pushes cat off the table* *leaves*
@Sickayduh: It's late and I'm wondering what my high school girlfriend is doing now. I'd call her but I know she has a big algebra test tomorrow.