@TheBoydP: Today is national pet day. There is no touching of people in national pet day. I know this now.
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@blondecalamity: A) I don't care who is stalking my twitter B) I don't care who is saying terrible things about me C) I don't care - OH! Free iPad??? *click*
@Cpin42: In the beginning, people laughed at my penguin army. No one’s laughing now. I’m receiving treatment and everyone’s been really supportive.
@partlyfunny: If you want to have fun with your kids, tell them the teacher called, then ask if there is something they need to tell you.
@DiamondGirl127: Cop: Do you know why I pulled you over ? Me: You wanted to watch me lick my ice cream cone ? Cop: Just go please