@TheBoydP: Today is national pet day. There is no touching of people in national pet day. I know this now.
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@dmc1138: If anyone needs some loose IKEA parts, let me know. Also, if you're ever at my apartment, I'd avoid sitting on or touching any of my furniture.
@weinerdog4life: One time my dad caught me doing homework and made me eat an entire pack of calculators
@BDGarp: Me: Have fun on your date. Son: What if she drinks too much, or gets high? Me: You really aren't my kid are you?
@VerifiedJayy: Put glitter on top of all your friends ceiling fans blades. Wait til spring Enjoy