@TheBoydP: Today is national pet day. There is no touching of people in national pet day. I know this now.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@MarlonBrandNO: [Date] (don't let her know you're an alien larva) Her: I wonder where he is? *I burst through her chest* Me: Did you order yet? I'm starved
@VelouriaDaze: *walks into lift* Guy: going down? Me: I'll need a first date for that. *silence* *doors open* Dammit Twitter!