@duplicitron: Today is the day I release the coyote I trained on Windows 95 back into the wild.
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@JasonLastname: 1. have a child 2. never mention it on facebook 3. dress it in old-timey clothes and have it stand in the background of all your photos
@SCbchbum: My gal pal: "Are you on a diet? You look so nice & thin... What's you're secret?!" Me: "Poverty."