@cambuslad: Today Mother phoned asked me what I was doing . I said I was on Google maps and looking at her house .She asked if I could see her waving .
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@ArfMeasures: CYCLOPS: How do u spell Hawaii? WIFE [biting lip] well..u need 2 i's CYCLOPS [puts pen down] my life is just a joke to u isn't it Linda
@abhorrent_wife: Volunteer me to do something without checking with me first so I know whose mailbox to leave the dead squirrel in.
@djdarrellripley: When I die I don't want a big funeral. I'd just like a few of my close friends to get together and try to bring me back to life...