@TheMichaelRock: Today my boss will learn that I am nowhere near mature enough to be left alone with a label maker.
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@headstrong_girl: "Wife stabs husband with squirrel" was on the news.. Does anyone know how to sharpen a Squirrel?
@AGreaterMonster: If Twitter adds an edit button you'll retweet "I like kittens" and ten minutes later it'll say "I drink period blood."
@just1fool: If I'm going to be in your dreams tonight please let me know so I can stuff some socks down the front of my pants.
@Sassafrantz: I found out why I'm still single. Apparently, you have to go outside and let people see you.