@3sunzzz: Today my son put on a new roll of toilet paper for the very first time. He is 19.
@SondraDeeMe: When the cops are at your door have on a cape, carry a wand, and tell them you're a magician when they ask how your boyfriend disappeared.
@Bownuggets: In order to catch herpes, u have to think like a herpes
@DrinkingatWork: My head feels like something Picasso would have drawn.
@jeff_ratfamily: I need an app that shows oncoming traffic on my touchscreen while I'm driving
@AristotlesNZ: You didn't come here to be insulted? Why? Where do you usually go?