@TheSharona06: Today seems like a good day to wash my hair and take 10 selfies wearing 10 different shirts so I can pretend I look human on a regular basis
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@lasergirl70: "Always wear a pretty bra. The worst case is nobody sees it." ~ Not an old Irish proverb
@internetluke: [talking to bouncer] Me:let me in Bouncer: not after last time Me:would a Washington convince you? Bouncer: no George Washington: c'mon man
@myonlymizztake: My experience with organized crime was getting two friends to help me tip a vending machine while I reached up inside for chips.