@TheSharona06: Today seems like a good day to wash my hair and take 10 selfies wearing 10 different shirts so I can pretend I look human on a regular basis
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@xLiserx: *First Date* Him: You've been really quiet. Everything ok? Me: *Sadly* Your SnapChat photos made me think you were a super intelligent dog.
@Ideal_Victoria: It's official... My voice is incapable of making, "Thanks. I appreciate that" not sound sarcastic.
@Ivsy01: Him: You'll always be the one that got away. Me: Escaped. Him: What? Me: I said Thanks.