@DulmesKenzie: Today this guy was trying to find his wife in Fred Meyer and he yelled “marco” and she yelled back “polo” and he looks at me and says “that came from the wine section didn’t it” and oh my god I think I just saw my actual future.
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@Miss_Firefly_: My mind is exceptionally quiet.... I'm suspicious that I'm up to something i dont want myself to know about.
@mommajessiec: This morning I brushed my hair with an American Girl doll brush because, apparently, she is the only one in my house who puts things back where they belong.
@better_off_dad: Me: ‘This may be the beer talking, but that is a VERY sharp outfit you have on.’ Cop: ‘Step out of the car, please.’