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@Marcmywords2: Today was so terrible, I thought
Steven Seagal was in it.
@neiltyson: Odd that the silent way to alert performers they should quickly end their act is a gesture to slice your own throat.
@UncleDuke1969: Me: Threesome?
Wife: When pigs fly!
Do I wish for flying pigs?
Con: High bacon prices
*starts building catapult
@fro_vo: *gently places finger on caroler's lips*
you had me at "O come"
@Paxochka: My IQ score says I'm intelligent. My dating history disagrees.
@thepunningman: Snail Boss: under skills you've put 'quick reflexes'
Snail: [2 hours later] that's right
SB: [3 hours later] holy heck, when can you start?