@AaronFullerton: "Today's special is a grilled Chilean sea bass with white wine reduction. We recommend Instagramming it with the 1977 or Apollo filters..."
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@Token_Geezer: Nah mate, when the Americans talk about football they mean that silly game where the fat men dress up as Transformers
@TheMichaelRock: I bet all this shit started because someone told Trump he couldn't be president and Trump said "hold my beer, watch this"
@ddsmidt: People with house arrest ankle bracelets get so touchy when you compare them to a dog's invisible fence.
@MandiAtRandom: If he calls you clingy, move in immediately without warning and decorate his bed with 57 throw pillows