@AaronFullerton: "Today's special is a grilled Chilean sea bass with white wine reduction. We recommend Instagramming it with the 1977 or Apollo filters..."
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@thetits: COP: do you know why I pulled you over? ME: *hands him a puppy and drives off* [3 years later] COP *walking his dog*: wait a second…
@rad_milk: if the sun is such a cool and great star then why do all the other stars leave when it shows up
@Bexdora: INTERVIEWER: It says here you can communicate telepathically? ME: IN: Is this an ability you have always had? ME: IN: Please say something.