@ryangriffiths: Todays stats: My 3yr old got pissed off with me because I couldn't stop the wind.
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@FuckabillyRex: Someone just knocked on the door of my apartment and I yelled, "There's no one here," so I think I handled that very well.
@DannyZuker: Daughter is acting so rude I'm not sure she's even mine. Think my wife may have cheated on me with YouTube's comments section.
@LABeachmom: The whole "limiting myself to one glass of wine a day" thing is going really great. I'm like 5 years ahead of schedule.
@philmann: DAD GUIDE ON HOW TO WATCH A MOVIE: 1) put on a movie 2) don't watch it 3) read a book 4) every time something happens ask what happened