@ryangriffiths: Todays stats: My 3yr old got pissed off with me because I couldn't stop the wind.
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@cathisamazing: I don’t want to be a millionaire, I just want enough money to be able to stare off into the distance while pumping gas.
@murrman5: is your name melissa? "yes" are you married? "to you sadly" yes or no please "yes" do you like the lie detector I bought for your birthday?
@rachelle_mandik: do you think the guy who designed hand grenades really hated pineapples, or really loved them?