@ryangriffiths: Todays stats: My 3yr old got pissed off with me because I couldn't stop the wind.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@whostrevors: A moment of silence for the fat friend in a group of girls who can't jump high enough to be in the "mid air" beach picture :(
@hippieswordfish: *erases 1 and writes 0 on the 'days without incident' chart at Earl's Discount Stilts and Ceiling Fans*
@Rollinintheseat: Morgan Freeman is in so many movies, I bet he just wanders onto film sets and says,"I'm in this now."