@smilely_gal: Toddler in our bed last night; it was like sleeping with an octopus on meth.
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@meladoodle: Spoil any movie by telling ur friend “Ice Cube dies” before they watch it. They’ll be waiting for Ice Cube to appear and die the whole time
@gianni_bcn: To show off my "Downton Abbey etiquette" at the gym, I don't throw punches at the punching bag. I just say something witty and cruel to it.
@Ivsy01: People used to have to hunt for food now its like omg two people are in line ahead of me at Starbucks.