@iinkedZombie: [toddler saves Michael Cera from drowning]
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@joejwest: ME: Who do you want to be at my Frozen-themed party? FRIEND: Let me be Olaf or Elsa ME: Ok but never threaten me in an Italian accent again
@thatdutchperson: "You're not pretty enough. Now pay us $3.99 so we can tell you why." - Magazines
@sixfootcandy: I just saw a guy with leather pants get out of an IROC-Z. I wanted to say "Welcome to the future, traveler. You're going to love it here!"
@NatetheEnigma: Nobody expects you to tweet brilliance. Just be yourself, with the occasional intent of bringing shame to your entire family.