@julie2288: Toddlers are the only life form that can exist entirely on their own snot, one goldfish cracker, and half a chicken nugget a day.
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@whatkylasaid: We only cook with fresh, local ingredients so tonight we're grilling our neighbor's cat.
@mommywhitfield: I just want to be half as productive as my mom thinks she would be if she was me.
@Playing_Dad: The guy who thought up Super Mario must have had a very complicated relationship with turtles