@julie2288: Toddlers are the only life form that can exist entirely on their own snot, one goldfish cracker, and half a chicken nugget a day.
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@NicestHippo: [Lions watching a romantic comedy about humans] Why doesn't he simply mount her with no apparent warning?
@NJPsychDoc: Was up all night wondering, why do people compliment me for having all my shit together & yet still insult me for being full of it?
@BeingDBEAST: Just saw two homeless men hitting each other with pieces of cardboard. Pillow fight!!
@pinupteacher: Time out. Otters not only sleep holding hands, but have a SPECIAL POCKET to hold their favorite rock? Humans are bullshit.