@julie2288: Toddlers are the only life form that can exist entirely on their own snot, one goldfish cracker, and half a chicken nugget a day.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@Pro_Jones_: Boss: I've been told one of you is just a robot car in disguise *everyone stares at me, even Optimus who is drinking oil instead of coffee*
@the_hawlk: SECURITY GUARD: "Sir, I have to check all backpacks" ME: "ok" *opens backpack* *its full of hundreds of tiny backpacks*
@ryangriffiths: I don't think people understand the potential ramifications when they say to me "just be yourself".
@SCbchbum: Nothing snaps a woman into full blown CSI mode faster than an unfamiliar ponytail holder in her car.