@TheTonyHowell: Toilets are really just fart amplifiers when you are trying to be quiet.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@HavocMantis: *at bank* I always think it's funny when I go to the bank because my last name is Banks Teller: "haha. First name?" *Pulls out gun* Robin
@KrunkedRobot: Whole Foods added a 10 items or less checkout line as if anyone can afford to buy more than 10 items at a Whole Foods.
@NowAPisces: Today I opened the door to the supply room and four Japanese guys jumped out and yelled "supplies!"
@bobvulfov: [audition for a vampire tv show] ME: as u can see in my headshots, i'm a vampire CASTING DIRECTOR: theres no one in these photos ME: exactly