@TheTonyHowell: Toilets are really just fart amplifiers when you are trying to be quiet.
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@4boding: My daughter asked me to help her find a job because she’s learned enough in school. She’s 5.
@Tmoney68: People always ask why I'm wearing a sombrero in my high school graduation pictures. Clearly, because it was my señor year.
@TrueTorontoGirl: My friend is looking for a single, normal, well adjusted man. I told her to avoid twitter.