@KevinBuffalo: Told a girl she's more attractive when she's not wearing glasses and she said I'm also more attractive when she's not wearing glasses.
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@Sickayduh: "We need a name for this big flat state full of corn and you're gonna be the one to do it" "I...uhhh... Wha?" "Nailed it. Next state."
@WheelTod: Confuse future archaeologists by burying human bones as if they're riding dinosaur skeletons into battle.
@click4amanda: HR: Can you explain this?? Me: I thought it was CORNhub, with recipes on how to make delicious corn and corn related dishes
@JoyceCarolTotes: Border patrol: Why do you have 100s of DVDs of Top Gun stuffed into your seat cushions Me: *sweating* BP: They aren't even illegal