@CroweJam: Told her I'd rather eat laundry than fold it and now I'm having boxers for breakfast.
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@JesKeepSwimming: I'm sorry if I looked interested. You probably caught me fantasizing about bacon.
@DennisLWeaver: Friend: I love FB but it's gettin a lil boring. Me: Well that's cause all the cool peeps are on Twi- ..uh are all dead. Yeah they all died.
@TheTobbie: NOBODY TELLS ME WHAT TO DO! Except my government, boss, his wife, my girlfriend, my parents, my doctor, friends, neighbours, their dogs...