@whereami18: Told my 11 and 8 next time I take their electronics away I'd also be responding to all texts they receive.They've been well behaved since.
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@RoosterMustache: [having sex] ME: oh yeah do you like that HER: faster! ME: *like an auctioneer* doyoulikethat-isee$5foryes-$5foryes-doisee$10-$10foryes
@Raoul_Duke_71: Beth on Facebook "Can't believe its Monday again already"... if only there were some way for her to calculate the order in which days occur.
@KalvinMacleod: BLACK WIDOW: help I think my husband is dead 911: did u murder him? BLACK WIDOW: uh 911: ma'am BLACK WIDOW: *quietly hangs up the phone*