@TallDarkHandsy: Told my 4 yo that his hamster died and that was in heaven with God. 4yo: Why would God want a dead hamster?
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@Mikecanrant: A guy with a locked account just asked me why I never retweet him. Stay in school kids.
@Tmoney68: Parents are hiring drug-sniffing dogs to find their kids' drugs. I couldn't do it. My kid already doesn't trust me, according to her diary.
@Brampersandon_: [Evan]: This new hair product is the best [Brad]: Yeah. Check out Jack still using mousse [Jack]: *with Bullwinkle on his head* Shut up guys