@XoMiSsYoX: Told my coworker to shut up or I would slash his tires. He laughed, I laughed. Now I'm by his car with a knife and I can hear sirens. :(
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@Lisa_Laughs_: He said there was no spark between us, so I tazed him. I'll ask again when he wakes up.
@Reverend_Scott: *Clark Kent takes his glasses off* Jimmy: "OMG, it's Superman!" *Clark puts his glasses back on* "OMG, Clark! You just missed Superman!"
@BadassBarbie11: If you blow out the kid's Birthday candles at enough parties, people will just stop inviting you to them.