@myonlymizztake: Told my doctor I would lose 10 pounds in three months. That was three months ago and now I have 18 hours to lose 9¾ pounds.
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@HatfieldAnne: When you offer me cookies, act surprised when I take one. Declare loudly you’ve never seen me eat dessert before.
@ChipKellysBalls: I'm starting to think that the Facebook status update I liked has had absolutely no influence on Government policy at all ...
@NickSwardson: I'm behind 38 episodes of Game of Thrones. I'll just jump in the new season and piece it all together. Should be fine.