@patsajak: Told my dog I was feeding him only natural, holistic food. Not sure he could hear me over slurping of water from toilet.
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@Seamus_the_Bold: I don't think it's rude to ask someone in an online dating site to send a picture posing with a copy of today's newspaper.
@daemonic3: REALTOR: This community has a great neighborhood watch WIFE: [sees me suddenly excited] Don't you dare ME: WHO DECIDES WHO GETS TO WEAR IT
@moxieblogger: If you ever feel dumb, remember sometimes sloths grab their own arms thinking they are tree branches and fall to the ground.