@peachesanscream: Told my friends that I was qualified to give them Botox injections. I raised a few eyebrows.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@Jn1fer: *Writes "For a good time call" on random gas station bathroom wall *adds work phone number *Gets excited about work today
@robdelaney: Not to be a Scrooge, but if you play or even hum along with Christmas music before December 10, you should be sent to a concentration camp.
@Abusitron: I spend 60%of my day worrying that I might have mustard on my face or clothing. The other 40% I am eating mustard.
@JennyJohnsonHi5: According to Facebook, Sept. 11th is about posting as many pictures of crying bald eagles obscured by an American flag as you can.