@peachesanscream: Told my friends that I was qualified to give them Botox injections. I raised a few eyebrows.
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@ilovepie84: I bought some Velcro shoes so that nobody can make fun of my velcro wallet anymore because now they will match
@1_swarthy_dude: Me:*smashes car window to rescue baby* Her:"WTF I was getting the stroller from the trunk!" Me:"Yeah, but you had Coldplay on the radio."
@RS3Feed: I like to go to death metal shows and throw throat lozenges on the stage, it shows I care.