@LoveNLunchmeat: Told my kid he better not steal another candy bar cuz "we don't have time to get arrested" if you're looking for a parenting role model.
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@TheAlexP: Little known fact: Henry Ford called it an automobile because "Horse with no Name" sounded stupid.
@daemonic3: Cop: Know why I pulled you over? I'm in a High Occupancy lane Cop: Yes...wait IS THAT A JOINT? Yeah I'm HIGH lol Cop: My bad, free to go
@jlock17: I've stopped texting "K" and started texting "L" instead so I don't have to reach so far over with my thumb.