@SassMouth8: Told my kid not to touch the floor of the bathroom, so he licked the doorknob instead. The dumb is strong in this one.
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@NoogsCorner: I like running up to kids, punching a puppy in the face and screaming "WHERE IS YOUR GOD NOW?" And that's my long-term solution to religion.
@TheSweetestD_: The only difference between a psychiatrist and a drug dealer is that the drug dealer doesn't make you wait an hour.
@clairecdowns: Guy in USA:(phone) you ready? Guy in Australia: (phone) hell yeah Both:123 *each drop a piece of bread onto ground* Both: EARTH SANDWICH!