@SassMouth8: Told my kid not to touch the floor of the bathroom, so he licked the doorknob instead. The dumb is strong in this one.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@TriciaLockwood: me: this cat is kissing me on the lips because it LOVES me cat: mother's lips taste perpetually of bacon
@kwirkyKerri: Of course I'm not leaving. I'm just going to step outside for a minute. (Runs to car)
@KenJennings: You guys, The Hobbit is a straight-up ripoff of my unreleased 3-hour experimental film "Helicopter Shots of People Walking."