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@leifromloihi: told my kid to sign my boyfriend's birthday card
@brookeivy: Wait, 12 years a slave isn't about marriage?
@MariyaAlexander: People think I'm a good listener but I'm really just solid at nodding
@LuvPug: I think it would be totes adorbz if I throat punched you the next time you say 'totes adorbz'
@markydoodoo: Milk toast was probably named by same lazy guy that named the fireplace and waterfall.
@Ivsy01: Breaking up
(be mature, be mature, be mature)
Me: (eating chips) you can't use the carpool lane anymore.