@leifromloihi: told my kid to sign my boyfriend's birthday card
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@iamk1ts: All I said was, Even those starving kids in Africa wouldn't eat your cooking and my wifes foot became Mayor of my ass on Foursquare.
@DamonHunzeker: Curiosity gave the cat slightly high blood pressure but nothing to be concerned about.
@MiniiG: If you complain about not being able to find your boyfriends name on a keychain that store will think you have a boyfriend
@TheRolo: Wife: I think we need a break. *Titanic crashes into iceberg* Husband: THAT WHAT YOU WANTED? Wife: Yes.