@NervousJr: Told my mom "The D" stood for donuts, and now she won't stop telling people she wants the chocolate D.
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@jonnysun: *wakes up before alarm goes off* please be 5am please be 5am *checks time* 2:34pm, februrary 25, 2054. NOOOOOOOOO
@tastefactory: My computer keeps giving me an error message saying "The Printer Can't Be Found." Uh buddy it's RIGHT NEXT TO YOU, HELLO
@FadeAway2: Ever notice when you need to delete a phone app and you get the icons jiggling? They seem all panicky about who's getting cut from the team
@heymonroe: Remember in 90's movies when the hot girl would enter a party in slow motion? That's what happens when I walk in a buffet.