@NervousJr: Told my mom "The D" stood for donuts, and now she won't stop telling people she wants the chocolate D.
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@Anon_imosity: I bought my girlfriend a fridge for her birthday. Not a great gift I know, but you should've seen her face light up when she opened it
@GibJimson: You politely tap a jogger with your car one time, and suddenly you get labeled a hero.
@PinkCamoTO: *lies down in bed* *closes eyes* *gets comfortable and relaxes* Brain: *blows into mic* *tap tap* Okay, so where was I...
@HaleyMDriscoll: My boyfriend said we could only get one cat. So I'm only getting one cat. One pregnant cat.